


20 Days of Dean

by Dark_Silver



Category: Cas - Fandom, Dean - Fandom, Destiel (Cas/Dean ), Supernatural, dean winchester castiel novak
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 06:31:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 21,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2498054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Silver/pseuds/Dark_Silver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my first Fanfic, and I've only recently joined the whole idea of Fanfic but every Thursday or Friday I will be adding a chapter to this story.<br/>There are a bunch of flash forwards and flash backs they are separated by either ~~~~~ or a date/time/place</p><p>Dean and Cas are both musicians in two different bands. Dean is the lead singer of Angel and Demons and Cas is the guitarist for Hellraisers, which is Luficer's band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

~ December 31st, Approximately 11:55 pm, Time Square, NY ~

 

 _“Dean..Dean.. De--”_ Castiel coos into Dean’s ear as he taps his foot in this inhumanly fast pace. The sound of the crowd starts to drown out Cas’ voice. This is their biggest show ever, they've always dreamed of being a headlining band. Usually Dean is cool before shows; he is the one calming everyone. But for this show, Dean is shaking with nerves. Maybe it’s Castiel. Cas is always the root of his nervousness. When he went to tell Cas the he had feelings for him, he was shaking just as much if not more. Why had Gabe let Cas back into the band? _Stupid, stupid! Dean you’re a dumb ass for letting him stay._ Suddenly, there is a hand placed on Dean’s shoulder that brings him out of his mental criticism. A warm and familiar hand, one that his body missed touching. Dean hears the crowd start the countdown.

10

9

8

7

6- They get ready, instruments in hand about to walk on stage

5

4

3

2

1

“HAPPY NEW YEARS!” is all Dean hears ringing in his ears as Castiel manhandles him into a kiss. Dean is stuck, paralyzed with surprise. He’d thought this would have been like most of the years he spent alone and kissless on New Years. Cas never ceases to surprise him. This day couldn’t get any better. Dean gets pushed towards the stage realizing they they actually have to perform. Before Dean could get to the mic, Cas shoves him out of the way and says -

 

~ April , 2013~

 

Dean, Crowley, Meg, Jo and Bal are in the studio talking when Dean’s phone rings. It’s Gabe. Gabriel Novak is Angels and Demons’ producer. He is kind of a douche and way too much of a flirt but works hard so they keep him. He was the one who first noticed them playing in this crappy old bar in Brooklyn called Brian’s Pub (they became a band officially, at least to Dean, when they played their first show in Dec. 2012). This was their 5-6 show so they were pretty rough. That’s what Gabe said “You guys definitely need some work but I see potential, and with that sexy front man- he winks -you might actually have a chance.” That was the first time Dean actually blushed. Red as a ripe tomato. Since then they have recorded and published their first EP _Hellbound_ , which seemed to get a lot of attention, had a top 100 single, and they are now in the process of writing songs for their upcoming album My Inner Demons.

 

~~~~~

 

Dean answers the phone. “Hey what’s up Gabe?”

“Dean, Hello stud muffin. I’ve got big news for A&D. Are you with the band?”

“Yeah just hold on- puts phone on speaker- Okay they can hear you now. What is it?”

“Well I can’t just tell you. Guess!” Dean can practically hear Gabe smirk which only angers him because it’s freaking creepy. “Gabe I swea-”

“Oh fine, grumpy pants. I talked to some people who talked to some people who happen to be looking for a band to play Time Square on New Years...and I happened to maybe send them Hellbound. They may or may not have liked it and I possibly got you guys the gig!”

“I swear, if you are just messing with us, I will murder you!”

“Nope, I happen to like my life very much, but if you’d like to, oh, I don’t know, role play. I can be the helpless victim and you the mur-” Dean growls which stops Gabe in his (fantastic) idea. “Okay! Jeez! Yes I really did get the gig, but you have to perform for the top dogs before it’s completely official. Be at Fearless Records on Saturday. 10:00 a.m. sharp! Rise Records and Fearless Records are hosting the show this year so you might have to work with some of the artists for the new album, but if they like your sound, you’re on board.” _Click_

There is this.. silence that you could slice with a spoon. They are in shock. Never in a million years would they think that they would be playing Time Square. Dean squeezes Bal’s hand, which is in his lap, and leans over for a kiss. “Guys, this is HUGE! We need to start some new songs.”

 

_~~Back to Cas at the New Year's Performance~~_

 

"Dean, I have said some.. harsh words to you in the past, and not a day goes by that I don't think about how much I regret saying them. I like you Dean. I mean, I guess... it's more like I love you. I just want you to stand there and look pretty damn good like you always do while I do this." Cas looks at the band and they start to play.

 

~~~~~

 

A week or two after they got Gabe's call they started working on some new songs. Dean, who was the most dedicated to the band, spent days and night working on lyrics and the guitar parts. Dean Winchester was about as attractive as they come. Bright green eyes that glistened in the sun. His skin was the shade of tan that most women pay to get. He usually kept himself shaved well but when he let his little stubble grow it only defined his flawless jawline more. His lips were a baby rose color and perfectly plump. He was the next music “Heartthrob,” He had so many fan girls that would stalk him, and paparazzi couldn't leave him alone to take a piss let alone date. The time the world found out about Dean being gay was because of a bonehead paparazzi who snuck into his limo when he was going to pick up Bal for a date that he had planned. He wasn't trying to hide the fact that he was gay, but didn't just want to go up to a performance and before they started a song announce “Hey everyone (at said concert) I like men! Vagina’s bother me and I am gay!” That would be bad publicity according to Gabe. So after Dean picked up Bal, he kissed him and the paparazzi got a picture of it. Before Dean could beat him to death, Bal stopped him. The douche got away and Dean woke up the next morning with God knows how many texts and calls and a newspaper with a Headline of “Dean Winchester, of Angels and Demons, is Gay. He is in a relationship with Balthazar (the band’s guitarist)” and the picture of his kissing Bal. After that there was no hiding it, so he was openly gay.

Balthazar had a slightly different story. Bal was older than Dean and had come out as gay in college. He was caught with a boyfriend in a restaurant that no one usually went to, but of course the day they went, someone had a party and say them holding hands. After that Bal didn't care. Bal was about an inch taller than Dean, but Dean wouldn't admit that. He had smaller almond shaped eyes that were a darker shade of green than Deans. Bal was a dirty blonde, with small but defined muscles. He kind of looks like a 60’s greaser but without the Jerry curl. The first time Bal met Dean, he’d known that he thought he was attractive, so he went up to him and literally said “Hey gorgeous, how about I take you on a date tomorrow night. Here’s my number. I’ll pick you up here, say about 7:00ish” then took his hand, wrote his name and number on it and walked away. His confidence struck Dean as rude, but after laying in his bed all night thinking of why he shouldn't go, he met Bal the next day. The rest up to this point is history.


	2. Chapter 2

Today Dean decided to take a rest day. He’d been writing song lyrics and melodies non-stop for a week now. Maybe he’d take Bal on a date. They hadn’t been on a real date in way too long. Dean took his phone out of his pocket, sat in the ugly zebra print beanbag chair that Bal had gotten him for his birthday. He’d known that Bal got it for him as a joke but he didn’t care, it was comfy. He started searching for Bal’s name in his phone, but of course Bal had changed it to “SexierThanYou” with a winky face. He did that all the time just to piss Dean off. He sighed and hit _call_.

“Hey babe, you like my name in your phone? I would have put Owner of Dean but if the band saw that their little minds would run too fast and we wouldn’t want them focused on anything but the songs.”

“Ha. Ha, real funny. But you do know that you aren’t sexier than I am. I’m a God, it’s okay you can admit it,” he smirks. Dean could hear the noise that Bal makes when he acts offended. “But I wanted to know what you’re doing today?”

“Yeah I’m going on a date with this Godlike guy I met about a year and a half ago. I think you’d like him, he’s got these bright green eyes and long brown eyelashes. He’s pretty dreamy if I do say so myself.” Dean can’t help but smile like a child in a candy shop. “So where is he taking me? I was thinking maybe that rich people restaurant where the steaks are shaped in different animals. I heard the champagne costs like $3,000. Or maybe we could go-”

“Bal, shut up” he says jokingly. “I wanted to take you to this new place I found. I heard they have good food.” A thought pops into Dean’s mind. He’s going to surprise Bal. “Yeah, sounds good to me. Though, $3,000 champagne did sound good. I gotta go though, pick me up at my place at 5. Kisses” _Click_

Dean had to prepare for this date. He even felt a little giddy about it. Since the band got the record deal they had been constantly working on music and lyrics, and practicing for shows, playing shows, and doing interviews and photoshoots. They never really had time to do things for themselves or who they were dating (of course if they were). Meg and Jo were kind of exclusive but never really established anything. The band and the fans all had an idea that something was happening but they never announced anything. Crowley was kind of a lone wolf. He would flirt with everyone and have one night stands every night after a show but he never really showed interest in anyone in or outside the band after the situation with Dean.

Now you are probably curious what “the situation with Dean” was. Well, maybe 3 months into the band being a band, they were at a party after a local show. All of them were drunk and flirting with one another. Crowley was the least drunk and everyone knew he had eyes for Dean, he’d even talked to Meg about asking Dean out. He never had the guts though, except that night. The little bit of hard liquor hadn’t clouded his judgement but had given him the courage he’d needed to express himself to Dean about his feelings. _Big Mistake._ As Crowley took a sip of the Jack Daniels that was being passed around, he leaned over and kissed Dean. Considering Dean was the most drunk, slouched over Bal as he tried to talk, he thought nothing of it at first. Dean and Bal had been together about 6 months by this time, so Bal took offense. Bal got up out of his chair (after gently laying Dean over Meg) and punched Crowley in the face. After that, the kiss was never discussed, and Crowley hadn’t expressed feelings for anyone at all.

~~~~~

Dean took an hour to pick out his outfit. His room looked like a teenage girl’s room from a movie as she was trying to look through her clothes to pick out the perfect outfit to go on a date with the jock. He had pulled out every one of his jeans from his drawer and after deciding that jeans weren’t the way to go, he went to his khaki drawer. Finally the last pair of khaki’s left in the drawer were the one’s he liked. Having only picked out his pants, he still had to find a shirt, matching belt, shoes, and socks. Dean was the kind of person who had to match everything he had on. If his boxers didn’t match his shirt then he’d have to change one of them to match. Finally after 45 minutes of going through shirts he decided on a navy blue and grey marble print shirt, navy blue socks, grey vans, and a deep brown belt. As he started to walk outside he noticed that there was a little bite of cold, so he went back in and got a heather grey infinity scarf and navy cardigan.

~~Castiel and Abaddon(Abby)’s Date~~

Cas is on his way to pick up Abby for their date. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to dress up in a suit or casual so he went with some khaki’s and a white button up with small navy polka dots and a heather grey beanie. Casual and comfy but nice. Abby’s apartment is pretty close to Cas’ so it doesn’t take him long to get there. He decided to be a gentleman today and get Abby her favorite flowers -orange tiger lilies. Getting out of his car, he stretched which makes his shirt rise up a little -he hated tucking in his shirts, but Abby always made him. He didn’t care if anyone had seen his stomach when he stretched, he didn’t work out for nothing. Cas was pretty fit, he had a six pack. He was about 6 foot tall and his arms were tone but not sculpted. He had pretty, smooth tan skin and a deep brown color to his hair. Abby always said she loved his eyes the most -she said that they are the most intense blue eyes she’d ever seen. _knock. knock, knock._ Abby always made him knock three time before she would answer to door, so now it just comes natural. As Cas sees Abby open the door he reaches down for a kiss and hands her the flowers. The smile on her face shows Cas that he made a good choice. She invited him in and shouts “I’m going to put these in a vase, give me a sec” as she scurries towards the kitchen, her voice slowly muffling and getting softer with the distance. Cas walks in the kitchen and sits at the bar. He is tired. The band has been getting noticed more and since he is the one who writes all the songs, he has been doing nothing but writing. He slouches over, elbows on the bar, head in hands. He looks at her with the looks that gets Abby quaking in her boots, or so-to-speak. She leans over and kisses him , sweet and gentle. “Ready to go?” She nods her head and they are out the door.

~~Dean and Bal’s Date~~

They arrived at the restaurant about 10 minutes ago and have been seated. Dean had already ordered some champagne when he made the reservations for the restaurant. It wasn’t the most expensive, but it was nice and what Dean could afford. Dean ended up ordering a steak with steak fries and some cheesecake for dessert. Bal ordered the lemon-pepper chicken salad and got a piece of apple pie with vanilla ice cream (which Dean ate most of when Bal went to the bathroom). At about 8:30 a man came out on stage with a mic announcing that it was time for open mic and asked if anyone wanted to come up on stage. Dean raised his hand, to Bal’s surprise, and smiled deviantly after giving Bal a quick kiss. Dean went up on stage and told the DJ which song he wanted to perform. When he was mid-stage, he said “Bal, I love you and this was my surprise. This is for you” and he then proceeded to sing.

~~Cas and Abby~~

Cas and Abby had already gotten their food and were half way done when Abby brought up the worst conversation topic. Cas had had some bad experience with a girlfriend in the past, it turned out that the relationship was one sided, and when he asked her to move in with him she dumped him. After that, Cas had decided that the whole subject of moving in together with anyone would only be discusses when/if he proposed, so when Abby asked him if she could move in with him, he choked on his drink. “Uhm, Abby. You know how I feel about stuff like that. I love you, and I love being with you, but ...”

“Yes, Castiel I know that. And I love you. That’s just the reason that we should move in together. I need security Cas, and living together would give me that security.”

“Abby.”

“What Castiel? What could be the reason that you don’t want me living with you? Do you have a sex- slave that lives in the spare bedroom?”

“I most certainly do not”

“Are you gay and I’m only a cover up.” Castiel choked again. Why would she ask that? Had he given an implication that he was? Was he? _No._ No he wasn’t. He shook off the though.

“No. Why would you even suggest that?”

“Because Cas, you’ve been distant lately. I don’t know why, but I feel like you’re not attracted to be anymore. That is why I need security, to prove that you love me like you say you do, I want to move in.” Castiel hesitates. He doesn’t want to lose Abby. She’s good to him, loves him -despite the issues that he has-, and his family loves her. He is speechless.

“Abby. This is a lot to ask. You know my feelings on living together and how hard things like that are with me. Give me some time to think okay?”

“A week. I will give you one week to decide if you want me to move in, if not then there is no point in being in a relationship that is going no where.” Cas nods his head slowly, this wasn’t going as expected.

~~Dean and Bal~~

Tonight was a success, Bal loved the song and even came up halfway through and sang it with him. The crowd had loved them so much that they cheered them on for an encore. 5 songs later, including the ranking 8 minute Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, they were tired and done. Before they got off stage Dean slipped in some information about his band and their next show.

“My place or yours?”

“Bal, I’ve got a lot of work to do. The show is in a few months and we have a date that we have to have the songs for the new record done.” Bal gives him a blank stare. He kind of sees a bit of disappointment in his eyes.

“Dean, we haven’t done _anything_ in weeks. I’ve tried so many times to get you in bed but you just shrug me off. Am I boring you? Did you find someone else?” He looked like he was about to cry. Dean hadn’t said anything. No, of course Dean hadn’t found anyone, and he wasn’t bored. Why would he spend so much money on a date tonight if he was bored? “Oh my God. Are you cheating on me?”

“No. I am not. I love you and you know it. I took you on a date because I _didn’t_ want you to feel like I had lost interest. I just have a lot on my mind, and sex isn’t the right thing right now.” There was silence for the rest of the car ride back to Bal’s. Bal got out of the car without saying anything, Dean didn’t even get a goodnight kiss. He shook it off. Dean needed to focus on music.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to have a visual (picture) uploaded either today or sometime this weekend of an important scene from this chapter, so yes. Depending on the picture I might add some more details here and there.

Cas is at home. He's been thinking non stop about what Abby said for the past few days. Does he really want to take that step? Can he take that step? Can he have someone live with him, and be constantly afraid that they'll leave him alone in the apartment? His phone rings. It's Gabe, he groans.

"Hey Gabe, what's up?"

"Hey little bro, how are you? I've been meaning to call you; I want to have lunch. How about today huh? I can pick you up now, but I have an errand I have to run. Would you prefer that I pick you up after-"

"No" Cas says in a much louder voice than he intended. " No, no you can come now."

"Kkay. Toodles." _Click_

 

Cas rummages through his closet and finds an old Kansas shirt and some ripped jeans. Fifteen minutes later Gabe rolls up in front of his apartment complex and honks. "Alright! I'm coming." Cas hisses. "Where are we going Gabe?"

"I have this band, Angels and Demons. They're pretty good. The lead singer Dean asked if I could bring him this signed guitar that I have, because I don't use it nor do I need it, but I forgot it at home so we're going to take it to him. They are recording the first song to their new album. His voice is so smooth but has this raspy tone, he's going somewhere, especially with that rockin' bod" He smirks.

"Ohhh gross." Cas grumbles. "You haven't slept with him have you? Gabe I thought we talked about you sleeping with your clie-"

"Shutup. No I didn't. He has a _boyfriend_ " he says mockingly. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay. Fine." Five minutes later they are at the studio. They walk up 3 flights of what seems like endless stairs. The building doesn't look this big from the outside. Gabe opens the door to the studio and Castiel hears a sweet voice that kind of startles him. He hadn't realize that he hadn't moved until Gabe tapped him and pulled him in. He was absolutely mesmerized. _This was a man's voice Castiel,_ he told himself. _You. Do. Not. Like. Men. Snap out of it._ He sat down in a chair behind the soundboard trying to shake his mind off of the voice until he looked into the window and saw the man that the voice was coming from. His eyes widened and he couldn’t help but stare. The window was the only thing distancing him from the angelic voice in the next room. He tried but failed shook off the idea, as if it would be _that_ easy.

About 20 minutes later, Gabe was ready to go. Cas left, hesitantly. He wanted to stay and listen to the guy sing. Gabe ended up getting a work call before they got to the restaurant, and he had to drop Cas off at home. He had some interview with a new artist or something, Cas wasn’t really paying attention. For the rest of the day Cas had only been going through the motions. Put sweats on, make dinner, watch tv, brush his teeth, lay down to go to sleep. He was in a daze that he couldn’t shake. That night he dreamed of the guy’s voice. Gabe still hadn’t told Castiel his name. All he had was a face and a voice that soothed his mind and kept him asleep until noon the next day.

 

~~Dean, that morning~~

Dean woke up at 9 a.m. today. He was excited because they started recording for My Inner Demon and he had some really good songs that he’d been up late working on. As soon as Dean had woken up he’d make a fresh pot of his favorite coffee, pancakes (also his favorite) and some bacon. He’d even made enough for Bal. Dean was in an all around good mood. He had to be at the studio at 11:30-12:00, so he had about 2 hours. He took a long relaxing shower and picked out his clothes. After about a half an hour, he’d settled on a faded green t-shirt and some dark denim skinny jeans. Dean knew he had a great butt, and because he was feeling confident today he thought he’d wear something that made it evident. By the time he’d gotten dressed and called Bal to make sure he was up and ready for Dean to pick him up, it was about 11:00. Dean left, not wanting to be late.

  
At 11:30 Dean and Bal arrived at the studio. They were the first ones but within the next 15 minutes, the rest of the band was there. Dean had to go back over the songs and show the band some of the cords. He’d chosen “Life Support” as the song they’d work on today. The band had decided to focus on one song a day so they could have it perfected by the end of the day. Dean was up first for the vocals. After doing some warm ups that he usually did before a show, he sat behind the mic and started to sing.

_You’ve captured me in your grasp,_

_Even if I wanted to_

_I couldn’t get away_

_no matter what we say_

_Loving you how I do_

_makes all the bad go away_

_I feel so enamoured_

_enwrapped in your aura_

_Gaze into my soul, keep me whole_

_Love me with every inch of you_

_If you ever left me_

_Darling I’d need to be saved_

_My breath would chase your voice_

_The one thing keeping me alive_

_If you ever left me_

_I’d be on life support_

_Some things are meant to be_

_I know it’s you and me_

_Falling in love is always enough_

_But if you left me_

_I’d be on life support_

The first take was good, but definitely could use some work. About half way through the first take thought, some guy came in with Gabe.  Dean had definitely taken time to notice him. He shouldn't have. He had Bal and he loved being with Bal, but there was something about the dude that stood there, on the outside of the room. Dean had noticed that the guy saw him and stopped walking. His intense? No intense couldn’t begin to describe them. The guy’s eyes reminded him of a show he’d vaguely watched last night. Discovery channel? It was something about the ocean. And the color of the water. That had been the color of this guy’s eyes. He’d had deep sea eyes. Dean and the mysterious guy hadn’t broken contact until the end of the song when Dean had heard one of Gabe’s assistants start talking to him over the headphones, asking him what he’d thought of the take, if he’d want to hear it. Something about the expression on this guy’s face amused him. He’d like the song on the first take, so Dean would do it over and over again to keep that expression. Dean ended up doing 7 takes of the song, using excuses like “There was a note mid-song that I didn’t hit right” or some other bs to do it again. After he finished the 7th take, the guy had to leave, so Dean expressed his joy about the take and left the room. After talking with the audio engineer about the vocal track and listening to it as he’d polished some things that Dean hadn’t noticed, Dean asked who the guy that Gabe had come in with was. Dean ended up finding out that the guy’s name was Castiel Novak, meaning he was Gabriel’s younger brother. He was 27 years old and the guitarist of a less known band called Hellraiser’s. Kind of ironic, Dean thought. Gabe had always talked about his religious family and how he and his siblings had been named by angels, though one of the Novak brother’s, Lucifer, was the lead vocalist for the band, which made sense.  To Dean’s surprise he’d also found out about Castiel’ long term _girl_ friend. There was no way that he’d imagined what had just happened. Castiel, was definitely at least bisexual. _You can’t like look at a guy like that for that long and be completely hetero,_ Dean told himself. No, there was something about the way Cas looked at him. Cas. haha, Dean had already come up with a nickname for him.  Dean went home feeling a mix of happiness and confusion. He was determined to talk to this Castiel. Dean had to know what exactly their little “moment” was, if it was just that, a moment, or…. Dean stopped. He needed to think of Bal. Once they had finished Life Support, they’d been dismissed. The ride home after the session was incredibly long, despite Dean’s effort to drive a bit faster. He’d been in his mind after he did the vocals. Those eyes seemed to have been burned into the inside of his eyelids, so everytime that he’d blink, he’d be reminded of Castiel.

 

Finally Dean was home. It was 8:45, but Dean didn’t care. He was starving. He whipped up some burgers and french fries for himself. He’d probably enjoyed the meal a bit too much. After that he changed and laid in bed. He hadn’t realized how exhausted he was until his head hit the pillow. He was knocked out in an instant.

_Dean was back at the studio, recording another song. Only, this time Castiel was in the room with him playing the guitar, and harmonizing with him. They sounded so perfect together. He was singing into the mic, but it was directed towards Cas. Dean knew that Cas didn’t think of Dean how Dean did him, but as long as Dean was with him he didn’t care what their relationship was at this point.  He’d enjoyed Cas’ company, especially in the studio. Cas was the only person he could take criticism from. Dean felt more comfortable with Cas in the recording room with him,  he seemed to be calmer and his vocals sounded so much better._

Dean woke up smiling.

~~~~~

Cas woke up smiling, but he soon realized the significance of the day and groaned. Today is the last day of the week. Today is that day that Cas has to tell Abby whether or not he wants to have her move in with him. He laid back down, hopefully he could sleep through the day and not have to decide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of the big beginning, keep in mind the song that Dean sings. (I wrote it myself). This chapter is really important to the story, as was chapter 3. Please! Comment and share it on different pages if you like it! Thanks! Enjoy!

Cas is up at 9 or so, he hadn’t really paid attention to the clock today. He knew today was going to be a stressful day but he didn’t know how bad until he got out of bed and fell over his dresser. He spilled water all over his phone; it was totally ruined. He tried to put his phone in rice to dry it out, but nothing was happening. But, of course, with his luck this was not by far not the worst of the morning. He went to take a shower; the shower head was broken and the only temperature of water that would come out was iceberg cold. So he’d had to take a freezing cold shower, which totally killed his boner that he woke up with. Then after the shower with glaciers, he went to find his favorite pair of sweatpants to warm him up, but they had been on the floor beside where he’d spilled the water, which ended with them being soaked. He went to put them in the dryer, but forgot to put other pants on, so his neighbors saw him naked, and then the dryer stopped working halfway through the cycle, so he had to wear damp pants.

Abby called on the house phone. She knew that if he didn’t answer his cell, especially at this time of the day, to call the house. Cas hesitated, he didn't want to answer the phone, let alone talk through it. He didn't know if he wanted Abby to move in with him, or even get a house together. She’ll understand won't she? He answers.

"Hey Abbs, what up?"

"Good morning" she sounds cheery, Cas starts to feel guilty. "So.. I'm just going to come out and say it. Today is the day that you are supposed to tell me what you've decided, but before you do I want to say some things. I love you Castiel James Novak. I know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, intentionally at least, but I don't want that so sway your choice. I won't be happy if you decided that you don't want me to live with you but I’ll understand. If you choose that, I want you to understand that we can't continue our relationship, it wouldn't be going anywhere and then there would be no point." Castiel sighs heavily. There is so much pressure on him, and he was already in a bad mood. He loved Abby but he didn't want her to live with him.

"Abby, I love you with all of my heart-" she gasps, _maybe a little too early_ , he thinks "but I can't be forced by an ultimatum to let you to live with me. I think, in time, I would eventually buy a house for us, but I can't tell you when that will be because I don't know. So if that means that we have to break up now, then I guess -" he hears Abby start to cry. Guilt, even more than he already felt, washes through his veins and overwhelms him. He hates hurting Abbs, “-I still want us to be together, but like we are now. Why do you have to live with me right now to prove it?" She sobs.

"Because Castiel, I feel like I'm losing you, and the only way for my to know that you loved me wholly and to reassure me that you won't leave me was to live together!" Castiel falls silent. Maybe he could.. let her? He could learn to- " goodbye Castiel, I love you and always will but I don't think we should be together anymore." She hangs up the phone. Why is it that today is his worst day? Two years wasted on Abbadon. He groans and seeps into his chair. Maybe he could fall asleep again and forget about this morning.

Just as Castiel had started to fall asleep, his phone rings. He jumps up. Maybe Abby had rethought what she said and- he looks at the phone. It's Gabe. He clicks the ignore button and tries to lay back down. His phone rings again. He curses under his breath at his brother and answers. "Gabe." He growls.

"Whoa there little angel, did someone ruffle your feather?" Cas growls again. "Oh fine. I need you to come in the studio today. Don't ask questions, but be there in a half an hour. Okay, byee" _Click._ Castiel hadn’t even had time to object. He hated this day already, but what could Gabe want? Why in the studio? He could have just stopped by and said what he needed to. Cas gets dressed. Gabe wanted him there early, so he would dress comfortably. He ended up going with some grey joggers and a subtle light orange shirt.

~~Dean~~

That night had bothered Dean more than he’d like to admit. He had taken Bal on a date to cheer him up, but JUST because he didn’t want to have sex at that moment, Bal had gotten pissed at him. He shook off the anger. _Whatever_. Dean woke up happy this morning and he wants to keep it that way. Gabe needs him in the studio this morning to go over some vocals. He needed to make breakfast and get ready. Dean decided on an egg bagel sandwich and to wear black joggers with a plain grey v-neck. Right as he was walking out of the door he got a call from Bal. He answered it “Hey bab-”

“Dean. We need to talk.”

“Okay?” Dean said with a bit of confusion and hesitation in his voice. “What is it?”

“Dean, I’ve been thinking about the other night. I had a great time on the date, and we needed that. It was amazing, but it would have been better if you’d come back to my place.”

“Yeah, it would have b-”

“No, let me finish. How long has it been since we showed any affection? I miss your kisses and stuff -”

“Yeahh me-” Bal make a noise that indicated his frustration.

“Dean” he whispered angrily. “I think we need a break.” Dean was silent. A Break?!

“A BREAK?” Dean shouted. “What do you mean a BREAK?” He huffs

“Whoa Dean. Yes a break, we are losing us. If you can’t see it, then you will. We are starting to act like friends and not as though we are together, and I’m sick of it. I love you, and you know that, but seriously Dean.”

“Fine! If you want a break, then okay, but don’t bother coming in to the studio! I can play the guitar parts of the songs!” Dean could swear that he heard Bal gasp before he hung up the phone. He was just so angry! He had to call Gabe and tell him that he’d be filling in for Bal until they could find someone else. “Hey Gabe, so Bal and I just broke up and that ended with him not being in the band anymore. I’ll be filling in on his parts for now, but we need to start looking for a new guitarist.”

“Whoa hey. what happened?” Gabe tried to hide his excitement that Dean was now single.

“I really don’t want to talk about it Gabe. Kinda personal you know? But I just wanted to warn you.”

“Okay, well I’ll see what I can do about finding you guys a new guitarist. But Dean, seriously if you need to talk-”

“Gabe. No chick flick moment okay? I’m alright. See you in a few” _Click_.

~~Castiel~~

Castiel arrived to the studio twenty minutes after Gabe asked him to be there so when he walked in, Gabe looked angry. “What?” He said with a smile, he needed to mock Gabe. It would make him feel better.“I had to take a drive to calm down. Now why do you want me here? Couldn’t you have just -"

“Hush. That band I was talking to you about, Angels and Demons, just lost a guitarist. I saw that when you were here last, you liked their music, so I called the lead vocalist Dean. He’ll be here soon but I want you to learn the parts and do the guitar for their song, if you would well with them then I’ll make you an offer.”

“Dude, you know that I’m already in a band right?”

“Yeah yeah, they aren’t going anywhere. This band has a deal already, they have top charting songs. Just try it out.” Castiel started to say “fine” as Dean walked into the door.

“Hey Gabe. Uh hey. It’s Castiel right?” Cas nodded his head. _Talk you moron_ he said to himself.

“Uh. Yeah it’s uh, Castiel. You’re … Dean?”

“Yeah, I guess we.. uh got the correct info?” After a few second of awkward silence Gabe says

“Hey Cas this is obviously Dean. He’s the vocalist for A&D. Dean this is your new guitarist, well pending guitarist. I called you here to have a trial run, see how he worked with the band.”

“You do know that there are other people in the band right? Not just me?”

“Yeah yeah, technicalities.” Gabe brushed it off. “So what do you say, shall we proceed?” Cas and Dean shrugged and started into the studio.

~~~~~

After 2 hours of Dean teaching Castiel the chords to the song that they were going to work on today, they started to record. Cas had a hard time getting the right tempo, he wanted to make it a little more fast paced than it was meant to be. They tried it out a few times, at different tempos but after about three times they both agreed to keep it at a slower tempo. Cas and Dean automatically harmonized perfectly. They only had to take a few takes of the song at its original tempo before the vocals and guitar parts were up to par. Dean had an amazing time talking to Cas and teaching him, so he decided to take him to a late lunch to talk more. They seemed to have a lot in common. Dean couldn’t get enough of Cas’ voice. It was so rough and deep, it sent chills down his back. He especially loved it when Cas sang, _he had the voice of an angel,_ Dean thought.

~~~~~

Cas really liked hanging out with Dean and learning about him. It took him a bit to learn the music, but he loved the genre so he kept at it. They worked to perfect it for two hours and then they headed to the studio room to record. Cas couldn’t help but be amazed by Dean and the music he wrote. It was just so beautiful and the lyrics were just so deep. He wondered where Dean came up with the ideas. Maybe he’d ask him sometime. As soon as they got into the studio, they started. The guitar part at the beginning of the song was 20 seconds long, and then Dean started to sing.

_Glistening, in the moonlight_

_by the fireside, I see you_

_You're the one that I want to_

_wake up and fall asleep next to_

_please don’t wander away_

_and leave my side_

_stay with me, to my right,_

_and look at me with your deep sea eyes_

 

_If you love me,_

_look through my disguise_

_I love looking into you're deep sea eyes_

_Shield me from the lies,_

_don’t let me cry_

_Stay right here love and wonder through my mind_

_Pierce my thoughts with your deep sea eyes_

 

After that, Dean asked Cas to lunch, which Cas was more than willing to ablige. Once they ordered, they immediatly realized how much in common. Dean seemed to take the words out of Cas' mouth as he ordered a cheeseburger with french fries and a slice of apple pie. Cas loved apple pie. 

_~~~_ _~~_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but I just moved from NC to TX and then my grand parents moved in with us day before yesterday. I also started a new school, as well as continuing my old school, so I've had no time to write. This one is going to be short, and once I have everything totally in control (next week probably), I'll post two chapters to catch up. I also wrote a pregnant Cas one shot, you should check it out! But enjoy!

 

After lunch, Dean took Cas back to the studio to get his car. They decided that they’d have lunch again the next week about the same time. They’d exchanged numbers, and as fast as Castiel learned that he had admired Dean, they went their separate ways. Both back to sulking about both of their now severed relationships. Lonely and upset they they don’t have someone to call and talk to tonight about each other. Dean would call Bal and tell him how he met Gabe’s brother, and how he is a pro at guitar and a quick learner. He’d tell him how he and Cas’ voice had harmonized perfect almost instantly after he had taught Cas the song. But no, he couldn’t because he was single. He and Bal weren’t together anymore. His first boyfriend, the person who was part of the reason he had come out, the person who helped him take pride in his sexuality, the one who taught him everything he knows about what guys like, and who was there when he wanted to explore. Dean felt sad, but not as sad as he thought and felt like he should. He was more of a weight lifted off of his shoulders rather than a piece of him missing. He and Bal’s relationship was going down the drain.. _right?_ Dean spent hours trying to convince himself of it. But in all honesty, he’d met someone that he was oddly interested in, someone that he’d never, before he’d come out, have noticed or been sort of okay with acknowledging the feeling he got from looking at him. Cas was really attractive. But Dean had only known him for what? A Day? Dean broke up with his long time boyfriend for someone he saw through glass, and was _straight_? God help him, straight of all things! Doubt filled him mind. Maybe Dean had made a mistake. He could never have Cas, but.. he could at least get to know him right? As friends.. yeah.. friends. 

Dean knew he and Cas couldn't be just friend forever. 

 

~~~~~

 

On the way home, Cas couldn’t stop smiling. His afternoon with Dean was wonderful. His talent had appalled Cas the intricacy of the notes in the guitar, and the depth in the lyrics of the song. He’s never heard a song as well written as Deep Sea Eyes, but he didn’t think that he totally understood it. Cas knew the gist of it and that it was about someone meeting someone for the first time, and instantly feeling that they loved them, but Deep Sea Eye? Did he mean the color, or that behind the eyes, considering that they are the windows to the soul, was so much depth and emotion that they were as endless as the sea, or what? What had it meant? Cas was determined to find out what it was really about.

Cas had arrived to his apartment, forgetting that his phone was completely ruined. So he decided to head out again. He had given Dean his number, not the house phone, and had intended on answering when Dean called him. …… Cas ended up getting the new iphone after the lady in the store had talked him into getting a two year plan that only made the phone $400.. HA! _Only $400_. Cas chuckled, he had been scammed but his afternoon had been too pleasant for him to care. He wanted to work on Deep Sea Eyes some more. A &D had a show coming up, that Gabe had mentioned to him, that he wanted to be prepared for , should Dean ask him to be the guitarist.

Then Cas remembered, he was single. He and Abby had broken up earlier that day. He sighed because he kind of wanted to talk to her about Dean and tell her how similar they were. He wanted to tell her that Dean had a way with music that would get him somewhere big and that Gabe had talked him into trying to join the band. Cas wanted to tell Abby about how he and Dean have the same favorite dessert, music taste, clothes taste, and even are about the same height. They had automatically clicked and Cas was glad of that. He needed a new group to hang around. Dean was a good start. Maybe he’d text Dean and ask him when he could meet the rest of the band.

  *  _Hey, it’s me Cas._
  * _Hey Cas, what’s up?_
  * _Well, I just got this new phone and it’s particularly hard to use._
  * _Haha well that’s good I guess. Did you need somethin’?_
  * _Yeah, actually I wanted to know when I can meet the rest of the band._
  * _Well, I know we’ll be in the studio all week, if you want to you can come and meet them ...tomorrow?_



Cas hesitated for a second, and he honestly didn’t know why. He shook it off and replied

  *  _Sounds great! What time?_
  * _I get there at like 10ish, I like to get there earlier than anyone, but if you want to come when everyone else does be there between 11-12._
  * _Okay, see you tomorrow. Goodnight_
  * _Yeah g’night Cas._



~~~~~

Dean couldn’t help but smile at the phone. Cas wanted to spend more time with him.. the band.. same thing. Dean couldn’t help but get a little nervous as he picked out his outfit for the next day. He wanted to look cool, but attractive yet like it took him less than a minute to pick out the outfit. Ugh. He shouldn’t even be this excited, it’s not like Cas even said he wanted to see him specifically. He’d said he wanted to meet the band, not see just him. But… judging by today couldn’t he have meant just seeing Dean?

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys, so so so so so sorry that I've been gone so long! Here is a chapter! I want to start back writing, so if I don't post again next thursday or friday then feel free to scold an/or remind me to post!

~~The Next Day~~

Dean wakes up well rested. Actually, he slept great. Dean was excited for today, Cas was going to meet the band..... And spend more time with him. Dean took a quick shower and whipped himself up a hearty omelet with spinach, ham and way too much cheese. _Spinach? Since when did Dean like vegetables.. Let alone spinach? Oh well, it tasted great!_ Dean had to get dressed.. Cool but definitely attractive. He wasn't trying to impress. Cas.. No definitely not. He decided on some skinny jeans that accentuated his ass---. _Wait_ \- since when did Dean think anything accentuated anything? Since when did Dean know the word accentuated.. Let alone how to _use it_? Anyway, he thought he looked good.

 

~~Cas~~

 

Cas woke up rather abruptly today. Not quite unpleasant but not the best way to wake up. He was gasping for a few seconds until he was finally calm. Was he having a dream that he was running or something? He felt like it. Maybe a nice shower would make him feel better...

It did. He felt refreshed and in a better mood. He was getting dressed when he thought... _What's the rush? I don't have to leave until 9:_ \- It was 9:30 already! Maybe it'd be a quick breakfast this morning? Hot tea to soothe his throat and a banana. _Yeah that'll do._ He threw on the first thing he saw, which was not too bad. A t-shirt and some skinnies. Yeah, whatever he had to leave now

It wasn't until he was outside the studio that he realized that he didn't have to be there until 11. Dean was the only one that was going to be there. _Did he want to go in.. he could wait a half an hour right?_ But he was already cold and the studio was nice and warm. Dean was in there, he knew because he saw Dean’s Impala. Cas exhaled deeply, he decided to be a man and go in with his friend. Castiel did a double check of himself in the mirror. _shit_ He forgot to do his hair. He could go in the bathroom and put some water on it then brush it out. He started to walk into the building as Dean opened the door. They almost collided..

“Hey Cas”

“Uh.. Hey Dean. “

“I wasn’t expecting you until 11”

“Yeah well I decided to get ahead. Maybe you could help me work on a song to show the guys how fast I can learn."

Dean thought to himself. _I bet you learn fast don’t you? What about… No. Don’t think about that right now Dean. You don’t want to pop a boner and freak out Cas._ Dean snorted to himself

“Yeah we can go inside now. What song do you want to learn? Want to work on Deep Sea Eyes?”

“I was actually wanting to talk to you about that song, but no. I want to learn something new. “

“Huh.. Okay I got something you can learn. “

“Okay”

Dean and Cas walk into the studio.

 

~~Dean~~

 _Cas wanted to talk about Deep Sea Eyes.? Why? What did he want to know about it?_   Dean couldn’t tell Cas who the song was about because it was about Cas! He hoped that he wouldn’t remember to ask. Oh well, what song was he could to teach him? Dean didn’t have any _real_ new material. He was working on this song, but it was an only idea. Oh well, Cas wanted something new.

“So yeah uhm this is a version of the song that the band hasn’t even heard. I’ve been working on the acoustics to show them, I was gonna show them today anyway.”

“Oh no.. if you don’t want to-”

“Cas. Dude it’s cool.  Come on. Let’s get started.”

Dean took Cas to the studio that he had been working in before he came outside. Dean was a little hesitant to sing Cas Life Support. It was a really emotionally charged song. He wasn’t sure if Cas was ready for something so intimate but as Dean started to strum the intro of the song, Cas looked more amused than a kid eating cotton candy for the first time.  Dean only had the first verse and chorus written, so he sang.

 

_You’ve captured me in your grasp,_

_Even if I wanted to_

_I couldn’t get away_

_no matter what we say_

_Loving you how I do_

_makes all the bad go away_

_I feel so enamoured_

_enwrapped in your aura_

_Gaze into my soul, keep me whole_

_Love me with every inch of you_

_If you ever left me_

_Darling I’d need to be saved_

_My breath would chase your voice_

_The one thing keeping me alive_

_If you ever left me_

_I’d be on life support_

_Some things are meant to be_

_I know it’s you and me_

_Falling in love is always enough_

_But if you left me_

_I’d be on life support_

When the song was over Dean had to fight to hold back his emotions. He knew that when he wrote this he was ridiculously in thought of love. In his head, and despite his determination to never have chick flick moments, he was sulking a little bit; he wanted to have a forever love. Stopping Dean in his aimless thinking Cas said

“Wow.. Dean that was beautiful. Those lyrics.. who were you talking about? How did you come up with the melody?”

“Cas. I’d rather not talk about who it’s about. And I dunno. I was in my apartment and started to lay down because I had been trying to work on a song for the next day. I was half asleep and the melody came to me. I started to hum it over and over so I wouldn’t forget it. I was able to remember the chorus melody enough to record myself humming it.. and I guess the rest just came back once I figured out how to play it right on the guitar.”

“Well, I think this could.. be a really good refresher to your fans. It’s really intimate, and relatable really. I love it!”

“Heh.. Thanks” Dean kind of shook off that compliment. He didn’t want to get too close to Cas because if he did, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from doing something he feels like he’d regret. “Well.. shall we get started?” Dean finally asked after a 30 second silence.

“Yeah.. Definitely.”

 

~~Cas~~

_Wow. That song was so beautiful. Could he really ask Dean who it was about? It was obviously someone he loved. Who was that guy that Dean had been dating? Bal? Balthazar. Yeah that’s who it was. Was it about him? But.. Dean broke up with him, didn’t he? So.. Who was it about?_

Cas was curious, a little too much actually. But he decided to forget it because he wanted to learn the song. He finally, about 10 minutes of tuning the guitar sat down to learn the chords. It took about 25 minutes for him to learn the song well enough to start memorizing the lyrics. It was short, actually because it wasn’t a full song, but he had to get his voice right, or at least well harmonized with Dean’s. Dean has such a beautiful voice Cas thought. After he and Dean finished their last practice run, the could help but grin at each other.

~~Dean~~

Dean stood up, he was about to give Cas a hug. _Right? Just a hug? Yeah._ Dean sighed. So he stood up, he thought Cas got the picture because Cas stood up a moment later. He started to lean in when the band walked in. Cas immediately jerked back and started to sit down.

“Oh. Don’t top on our account, continue” Meg said. Cas’ cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“Okay okay you guys. Layoff. Guys this is Cas, Cas this is Meg, Jo, and Crowley.” Cas waved shyly.

“Hey, I’m Castiel. Gabe’s younger brother.”

“Oh yeah! Gabe did say he had a little brother! I just didn’t know how cute he was.” Jo glared at Meg. Dean growled under his breath. _Wait. Dean.. Stop._ He thought to himself. C _as wasn’t his. Meg could flirt if she really wanted._

“What? Oh c’mon Jo. You know I’m just messing with him.” She looked at Cas. “But he is cute, you gotta admit that at least. Those eyes are killer, I’d hate to be your girlfriend….” Meg lingered a little “boyfriend..?? Sorry dude I can’t tell which way you swing. But anyways, yeah I’d have to be dating you because everyone would oogle over those gorgeous baby blues. I know I'd get jealous way too easily. Like no girl over here” She wrapped she arm around Jo, staking her claim. Jo smiled and kissed her on the cheek. Dean cleared his throat.

“Okay guys, as you know Bal isn’t gonna be playing with us anymore, and Gabe need us to have a new guitarist. I said I could do it, but Gabe insisted that we try Cas out.” Cas coughed. “He and I have been working on Life Support as an acoustic, wanna hear it?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little bit shorter than my normal chapters, I know I know. This is kind of a filler chapter. Stuff is going to happen in the next two chapters. Promise. The next chapter is going to have a time gap so be prepared! Enjoy though! Thank you for reading!

~~Dean~~

“Okay guys, as you know Bal isn’t gonna be playing with us anymore, and Gabe need us to have a new guitarist. I said I could do it, but Gabe insisted that we try Cas out.” Cas coughed. “He and I have been working on a song, wanna hear it?”

“Hell yeah! You haven’t had new material all week.” Meg said blatantly.

“Okay then. Cas, you ready?” Cas nodded shyly. They grabbed their guitars and headed to the studio. When Dean closed the door, and before Meg could turn on the sound he said to Cas "Hey, don’t be nervous. You are an amazing musician and they’ll love you. I l-Promise.” He finished his little “pep talk” not even a second before Meg turned on the sound. “What was that?” She laughed and Dean started to strum. Cas following, they began to sing.

 

~~Cas~~

Once the song was over Cas looked intently at the people observing him and Dean play. He wanted them to like him, maybe even for them to ask him to join the band. Then he heard his phone ring. He took it out of his pocket and panicked. It read “Abby.” Why was she calling him? They broke up, why would she want to t-. Then it hit him. He had band practice this morning with his band. “Dean. Uhh. I have to go. Family emergency.” then he darted off. Cas got in his car and drove away. When he got in the car he called Abby back.  

“Hey sorry, I was uhhhh asleep. What do you need?”

“Well, good morning to you too, and we need you at practice. We have something we need to talk about.” Castiel was a little hesitant. We as in who? The whole band?

“Yeah, okay be there soon.”

Castiel had almost been to the practice spot when he called but his apartment was further away, he didn’t want Abby knowing that he was in the studio with A&D. He decided he’d go to the coffee shop right around the corner and get a hot cocoa while he waited a little bit to show up.

 

~~Dean~~

“Dean. Uh. I have to go . Family Emergency.” Then he was gone. Where was Cas going? He still needed to talk to the band about being in the band.

“Cas! Cas! Where are you going?” He didn’t hear an answer back. Well, looks like Dean will have to talk to them.

“Well guys. That was Cas,  and that was a song I’d been working on called Life Support, I only have the first verse and chorus. But. uhh. Yeah. I don’t know where Cas went.”

“He’s really good. His voice harmonizes with yours pretty well.” Jo said.

“Yeah, I like him. Those baby blues in our band on stage and at photoshoots would be killer. We’d have all the fangirls chasing us around all the time. I can see the headlines now,“Castiel- Novak? right?” Dean nods “Castiel Novak, Next Teen Heartthrob” Meg holds her hands up when she says it.

“Heh yeah, well we’d have to teach him all of the songs and make sure he’s a perfect fit before he’s an official member of the band. He usually doesn't run off like that.” Dean says with a hint of disbelief and confusion in his voice.

“I better call him and figure out what’s up.” Dean starts walking off at this point.

When he’s outside in his car he decided to call Cas.

 

~~Cas~~

It’s about 10 minutes now, he should probably leave and go to the practice.  With much regret and a little bit of hastiness he walks to his car, gets in, and leaves.

 

About 5 minutes later he gets there, heart pounding. He didn’t really know what to expect.

“Hey Abby what’s up?”

“Hello Castiel. How are you?” Formal? Really Abby?

“Well I was awoken by a call from my ex-girlfriend who didn’t trust that I loved her, telling me that I needed to come to band practice because “we” had something to tell me.” Castiel looked around the room. Ah. A new person. Then it hit him. They were going to kick him out. “And judging by the new person I see here either you have a new boyfriend or you want to replace me? Am I correct?” Abby stares blankly for a moment. Like she doesn’t know what to say. She is never speechless. She clears her throat.

“Yes well, we do have something to talk to you about.” She turns to look at the new guy “Balthazar, meet Castiel Novak.” Balthazar holds his hand out. Like Castiel would shake his hand. He’s about to replace him. Wait. Balthazar? Wasn’t that Dean’s ex-boyfriend.. partner.. whatever? Castiel went silent, trying to hide a cringe. Dean had told him about Balthazar.

“Uh. Well Castiel, you haven’t been to the last 5 band practices and you haven’t talked to any of us about it so we decided to go looking for a new guitarist and-”

“Why didn’t you just call and ask me?”

“What?”

“If you wanted me out of the band, why didn't you just call and ask if I  even wanted to be in the band still?” Abby looked a little dumbfound.

“I-I guess we just assumed..”

“Exactly. You assumed. If you would have asked I could have told you that Gabe wanted me to talk to this new band that he has that has started to lift off the ground. I would have told you that I didn’t know because I still had you.. you guys and was still a part of a band. But now, since you’ve already replaced me, I’ll just go with them. Bye Abaddon."  Then Cas walked out. A more accurate description would be that he stormed out, but he wasn’t really trying to be dramatic. He needed to call Dean back. But.. He needed to cool off first. He wasn’t mad that they replaced him, but that they didn't call and ask or warn him that they were. Let along with Balthazar, his new best friend’s ex-boyfriend.

“Dean? Hey. Sorry I just stormed off. I didn’t mean to sound mad or anything. I actually had a lot of fun. Can I come back- I mean.. Are you or the band still in the studio?”

“Whoa Cas, dude it’s cool. Family emergency means family emergency.” Cas instantly felt guilty. He did say that it was a family emergency.

“Dean. It wasn’t a family emergency. I just didn’t know how to tell you that my old bad called me back to practice. If it’s any consolation they kicked me out and replaced me with Balthazar.”

“Balthazar? You mean m- uh the Balthazar from our band?”

“The very one. But.. Are you and/or the band still in the studio? I’d like to come back and apologize for my hasty exit.”

“Actually we are all at my apartment. It’ s close to the studio if you’d like to come over?”

“Uhh.. actually. I think I’ll just go home for today. But maybe tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Cool. Sounds good. G’bye Cas.”

~~Dean~~

Why didn’t Cas want to come to my apartment? Dean thought to himself. He was a lot more disappointed than he thought he should be. He actually wanted-

“Deano- C’mon dude Tengo hambre amigo. Let’s go!” Ash yelled through the door.

“Yeah. Okay be there in a minute.” Dean shucked his coat on and headed out. 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Cas and Dean have been hanging out since Cas had officially been added to A&D. After the day Abby decided to replace Cas with Balthazar (of all people), Cas went back to tell Dean that he wanted to join the band if he still could. Of course Dean allowed him, and after talking with the band adding Cas was a unanimous vote. Its been about 2 months since then. Cas and Dea have been working non-stop on writing songs. It’s almost like Cas just lives with Dean now. He’s at his house so much writing songs that the only time he goes home is to get clothes, and even then he and Dean are the same size. The starting scene takes place on July 2nd in Dean’s apartment. 

~~July, Dean’s Apartment: Dean~~

“Hey Cas! You awake?” Dean yelled to his living room. Cas had been sleeping there for the past few weeks. Cas answered him with a low grumble. “What?! Cas!” 

 

“Dean,  if I’m not shouting back at you then that probably means I’m asleep.” Dean decided that he’d just walk in there. Cas had started sleeping in later than before. Dean had assumed that it was because he was more comfortable at Dean’s now. The first week he woke up at 7:30 am and made Dean breakfast. Dean wasn’t going to complain. 

 

“Hey Cas, it’s like 11 already. We should get up and start working. We’ve got a gig on the 4th and the guys are throwing a party at the lake. Probably just a campfire with s'mores and shit. I kinda wanted to show everyone what we’ve been working on. Plus we’ve been cooped up here for weeks. What do you say?”

 

“I say you shouldn’t even be asking me a question until I’ve put at least 1 cup of coffee in my system.”

 

“Ohh someone’s sassy today.” Dean chuckled to himself. He decided that he wanted some coffee to. Not at all because he thought it was cute when Cas was sassy. 

~~July 3rd, Cas~~

“Hey Dean, what are we going to sing tomorrow? I wanna practice so I can impress the band tomorrow.”

 

“You don’t need to impress them Cas, you’re already part of the band. For months now actually. But I don’t know? Just sing one of the one’s we’ve been working on? Or! I know, how about we sing classic!”

 

“You think we should sing Mozart? I’m fairly certain his music has no w-”

 

“No Cas, not Mozart. A classic. Elvis Presley. Can’t Help Falling In Love.”

 

“I don’t know that song Dean.” Dean gasped.

 

“YOU DON’T KNOW ELVIS?” Dean shouted “You have been staying at my place for how long now? And you don’t know Elvis? We are going to have to change that now. Sit down.” Dean didn’t usually bring out his old record player. It was his mother’s and thinking of her was hard. She’d only died 3 years ago. It was still fresh. She was A&D’s biggest supporter. His father didn’t even support them half as much as his mother She was one of the girls that would be a roadie for their life, never stopping the fun for anything. She loved classic rock. She was the angel in Angels & Demons. Dean shook off the thought. Thinking about his mom was hard. 

 

He picked up the Elvis record and set the record player to play. As the song started to play Dean began to sing…

Wise men say only fools rush in

 

but I can't help falling in love with you

 

Shall I stay

 

would it be a sin

 

If I can't help falling in love with you

 

~~At the Campfire Dean and Cas Singing Together~~

 

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

some things are meant to be

take my hand, take my whole life too

for I can't help falling in love with you

~~Dean~~ 

Cas looks amazing tonight.  The fire shining on his face only makes those baby blues pop. I love this.

 

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

some things are meant to be

~~Cas~~

I love this song. It’s full of so much love.  Cas catches Dean looking at him and smiles. 

take my hand, take my whole life too

for I can't help falling in love with you

for I can't help falling in love with you

  
Everyone starts to cheer and laugh. They decide to sing it again but with everyone together. Cas really hadn’t thought much of the smile. He was happy and wanted to share it with his friend. He wanted to encourage him and show him how proud he was of him. 

 

~~Dean~~

While they were singing Cas smiled at him. It was just a simple smile but it unlocked a world of possibility in Dean’s mind, as well as two worlds doubt in his mind too. He’d always known that he liked Cas but now… Could Cas really like him too? Dean was getting way too ahead of himself.  Cas was straight. He had to remember that. 

Dean cut off his train of thought. Thinking about the possibility of Cas feeling something for  Dean could 1. give him a hard on and 2. make him do something he’d probably regret….. But then again, why would Cas smile that wide at him at the specific time of the song?  “Take my hand. Take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.”   Is he trying to tell Dean something? 


	9. Chapter 9

~~July~~

Is he trying to tell Dean something? Dean couldn’t get that out of his head. He kept asking himself...Thinking. Had Cas ever done anything to show Dean a hint of any romantic feelings that Dean missed? No. He couldn’t have. Dean made sure to pay close attention to Cas since he’d been staying with him. Well… Could he? Dean had to know. He had to find out, but how? Cas couldn’t take a hint to save his life so it had to be obvious. Would he just outright say it? “Hey Cas, I like your face and your big beautiful blue eyes and how your voice sounds perfect with mine and how you strum the guitar and your hands and your legs and your knees and how you sleep and your undeniable case of sex hair that you have everyday.” Nope. Cross that off the list. He could talk to Gabe and ask him to find out but that would be too awkward. Gabe already gives him the creeps.. A song.. _Dammit Dean you’re a musician. Sing him a song!_ And at that moment, he knew that what song he’d sing to Cas. He’d written it about him anyway. Cas had been asking who it was about. It was time to explain it.

 

~~October~~

Dean had been working with A&D’s new guitarist. He was an asshat. Ha. _Cas use to call peopl- Stop._ *Deep breath*. Dean wasn’t even sure if he knew how to actually play the guitar. After a few days he’d gotten the hang of playing one of their songs. The gig was in a week. How was he of all people supposed to teach this kid _all eight_ of the songs they were supposed to sing at their gig. _Fuck._ A &D was screwed .. if it depended on this kid, their career as musicians was going to face dive in a crowd of nothing. What was his name anyway? He needed to know the name of the kid that was going to force him to become a grease monkey again.

“Hey kid.” He ignored Dean. “KID!” That seemed to startle him.

“Hu? What?”

“What’s your name anyway?”

“Dean we’ve been working together for over a week. How do you not know my name? I’ve told you four times.”

“Well I haven’t exactly had time to pay attention to you talking what with how bad you play the guitar and all and because _I_ still have to teach _you_ how to play the guitar. So excuse me if I don’t remember your damn name.” Dean got up and started to walk away. He was sick of this kid. Dean could play the guitar. He’d written the songs for God’s sake. He’d be the lead singer and guitarist.

“Dude chill. It’s Adam. Dean! Come back!” Adam yelled but Dean wouldn’t stop. He was done trying to find a damn guitarist. Dammit Cas. _You_ put me in this position. _You_ made me have to do what I did. Dean got in his car and punched the wheel. He hated what Cas did to him.

 

~~July~~

It was only a few minutes since Dean had decided to sing to Cas. He was already shaking with nerves. What? He was never nervous about singing to to anyone. Dammit Cas. As Dean went to pick up his guitar he decided it was best to take some breaths and calm down. After a few minutes of deep breathing Dean headed towards Cas’ tent. Dean heard a yelp and then a loud “Crap!” It was undeniably Cas’ voice. Dean started jogging to his tent to see what happened. Cas was frantically wiping at the floor of his tent.

“Cas what happened?”

“I spilled my bucket of water in my tent.”

“You’re so cute when you pout” Dean accidentally said aloud.

“What?” Cas looked a little horrified. Dean panicked.

“Uh” He ran his hand through his hair. “Nothing. You can stay in mine if you want. Uh. Hey come outside for a minute. I wanna show you somethin’” Cas got up and started following Dean. He had come to the campsite a few days back when the guys told him where they had been planning to have the party. He mapped it out and found the best place to show Cas, and maybe in case he decided to do something stupid like he was about to do now.

“Hey Cas, sit down.” Cas sat down and Dean turned around. 1 *deep breath* 2 *deep breath* 3 *deep breath*. “Hey Cas, I’m gonna sing you something and then tell you about it okay? Just hear me out, completely.” Dean started singing.

_Glistening, in the moonlight_

_by the fireside, I see you_

_You're the one that I want to_

_wake up and fall asleep next to_

_please don’t wander away_

_and leave my side_

_stay with me, to my right,_

_and look at me_

_with your deep sea eyes_

_If you love me, look through my disguise_

_I love looking into you're deep sea eyes_

_Shield me from the lies, don’t let me cry_

_Stay right here love and wonder through my mind_

_Pierce my thoughts with your deep sea eyes_

_I remember the night we met,_

_I looked at you and lost my breath_

_I knew then, that you’d be my life_

_Embrace me, and wrap your arms tight_

_I’m not letting you out of my sight_

_Latching on, gazing at your smile_

_look at my eyes, and lie a while_

_I love you and your deep sea eyes_

_If you love me, look through my disguise_

_I love looking into you're deep sea eyes_

_Shield me from the lies, don’t let me cry_

_Stay right here love and wonder through my mind_

_Pierce my thoughts with your deep sea eyes_

_I had a dream last night_

_We were hand in hand, waist to waist_

_Right where we’re meant to be_

_hold me tight, be my light because_

_I couldn’t take not having those deep sea eyes_

__  
  


_If you love me, look through my disguise_

_I love looking into you're deep sea eyes_

_Shield me from the lies, don’t let me cry_

_Stay right here love and wonder through my mind_

_Pierce my thoughts with your deep sea eyes_

“Cas. I really like you. I’ve been trying to not.. like you. As bad as that sounds but we’ve been getting closer and I’ve been getting to know you and I like everything about you. From the bed head you have when you wake up to the sleepy eyes you have when we’ve stayed up past 12:00 to even the discoloration on your lower leg. I know you.. most likely… don’t feel even remotely the same but.. I guess.. I had.. have to know if there’s even a chance.”

 

~~October~~

Gabe heard about Dean’s little storm off. He had to calm Dean down. They needed a guitarist for their gig.

“Gabe. What do you want?”

“Hi Dean. How are you? I’m fine thanks for asking.” Dean was pissed and didn’t want to play Gabe’s games today.

“Gabe. What. The Fuck. Do. You. Want?”

“Dean. Chill out. You can’t just walk out on Adam. I know the this with Cas hit you hard but this is going out of control. That was weeks ago. You need to get your shit together. Cas isn’t in the best state right now either. I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks Dean. The longest I’ve ever gone without seeing Cas was a few days and even then he called every day.”

“Look. I don’t really care about what Cas is feeling right now. _He_ is the one who left the me.. the band. _He_ is the reason I have to look for a new guitarist. I write the damn songs Gabe. I can play the parts, especially if that means not having to teach that kid anymore. He’s a dumbass and can not play the guitar.”

“Dean. Come over. I think we need to talk.” Then Gabe hung up before Dean could protest. _No!_ Dean wasn’t just going to go talk to Cas’ brother. He didn’t want to be reminded of anything about Cas. It was hard enough to have to still have Gabe as a manager… It was hard enough not to pick up his phone and beg Cas to come back. He’d forget everything. He just needed Cas in his life.. as anything really. _Dammit._ He was thinking about Cas again. He just needed a few days off. He needed to go get so drunk that he forgot everything so he could wake up one day.. just _one_ day without thinking of Cas.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

~~Cas~~

“Hey Cas, I’m gonna sing you something and then tell you about it okay? Just hear me out, completely.” Dean started singing.

“Okay” Cas said, almost like he was whispering it. Dean started singing Deep Sea eyes. Why-? W _hy would he take me all the way out here to sing me a song I already know? B_ ut as soon as Cas thought that to himself he knew. Dean was trying to tell him something he was so afraid to hear. He couldn’t.. No.. Dean wouldn’t make him face something like that. He was enjoying playing with Dean. He tried not to acknowledge any flirty things Dean did. After all, he was gay. He knew that walking in. Cas never wanted to be faced with exactly what Dean is throwing at him. So what if he could possibly, 59% positively be gay? He could never tell his parents.. well his mom. She’d kick him out. His mom was much harder than his dad was. His dad might even accept it to a point. Who knows what Gabe would do. No.. He couldn’t. He hated having to hurt Dean but he knew that he couldn’t admit it out loud. It would be real then. That couldn’t be real.

“Dean-”

“Cas. I really like you. I’ve been trying to not.. like you. As bad as that sounds but we’ve been getting closer and I’ve been getting to know you and I like everything about you. From the bed head you have when you wake up to the sleepy eyes you have when we’ve stayed up past 12:00 to even the discoloration on your lower leg. I know you.. most likely… don’t feel even remotely the same but.. I guess.. I had.. have to know if there’s even a chance.”

“Dean… I-” Cas fell silent. He didn’t know what to do so he ran off. Went to his car and started crying. Why would Dean do this?

About 10 minutes after Cas left, Dean was at the window of the car trying to coax Cas out of it.

“Cas.. I.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” Dean trailed off. He sounded so hurt. Cas never intended to hurt Dean. Cas decided to get out of the car. He didn’t want t hurt Dean anymore by not answering him.

“Cas!” Dean had a hint of hope in his voice. “I .. You don’t-”

“Dean shutup.” The tone in Cas’ voice starled Dean. “Dean.. Why? Why would you even..” Cas shook his head to stop from crying. He couldn’t stop the single tear that leaked from his eye. “Dammit Dean. We were going so well. You know I’m not gay.”

“But- I thought-”

“You though wrong Dean. I am not gay and never will be. I don’t want to be. Why the fuck would you think I was? I have never even flirted with you.” Dean hardened up. He looked so devestated. It only broke Cas’ heart even more. He’d never lied so harshly and so fully in his life and he hated every second of it.

 

“Well. My fucking misake.” Dean turned on his heals and started to walk away. He stopped suddenly. Cas’ heart stared to flutter. Maybe he could see through the bullshit. Maybe-

“You can have my tent. I’m going home. I don’t feel… welcome.. anymore.” And then he walked away. At that moment Castiel knew that he’d never regret something as much as he did then.

 

~~October~~

Castiel was on the phone with Gabe again. 3rd time in the last few days.

“But Gabe. I.. I miss the hi-.. the guys. Can’t you talk to them or something? I don’t even have a band anymore.” Castiel was starting to sob. He’d been out of the band for 2 months now. After that night Dean had let him stay in the band until the album was done and then “asked him to leave.” Talk about being used. Dean had been okay with it at first but two weeks later he heard Deep Sea Eyes on the radio and started crying. Why would he say those horrible things to Dean? Because he was scared that his parents would be mad at him? Shows how mature he is. He’d rather hurt the person he lo- liked for his piece of crap parents who only call him when they need him. _Dammit Castiel. You’re so stupid._

“Cas-”

“It’s Castiel”

“.. Anyway. Cas.” Castirel sighed. “I’ve tried. You royally screwed up. Why would you even say that? You knew you were gay. Hell I even knew you were gay. Why do you think you had such a hard time with Abby? Yes I agree that she as a bitch..”

“Hey!”

“What? She was! Anyway, if you didn’t know then you’re a lot dumber than I tok you for. You and Dean are perfect together. Why would you ever even consider giving up those candy apple eyes?”

“I.. I just though mom would..”

“Mom would what? Punish you by kicking you out of the family? Well hello, look at you. You’re doing fine without her _and_ you have me. Mr. Millionaire and all… Hold on. Can you come over?”

“Gabe.. Why?”

“Cas just come over I have an idea.” Click

Castiel really didn’t want to leave his bed let alone go to his psychotic brother’s house but if he didn’t Gabe would be royally pissed at him. So he left.

~~July~~

“Dean.. I I’m sorry” He whispered as he wrapped himself in Dean’s blanket. Dean was somewhere in the Impala probably. When he was upset he usually took a drive. The blanket smelled like Dean. Cas wrapped himself in tighter. If he was lucky, his mind would trick him into thinking that it was Dean wrapped around him.                                                                            

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extremely unedited and yes I know it's kind of short. I've been sick lately and a member of my close family was diagnosed with cancer so this one and probably the next one are going to be a little short. Hope you enjoy this. We probably have about 1-12 more chapters left.Tell me if you like the *Author's Voice* I'll start adding them in if you guys like it. Have a great friday!

~~July 6th, Dean~~

It’s been a few days since Dean had expressed his feelings and got just about the worst possible reactions. He felt so ashamed for putting himself out there and getting so harshly rejected.. For putting Cas in that position. Why would he do that? Dean could tell just by the way Cas acted around him that he was uncomfortable with the attraction he had to Dean. He could see it now. Dean remembered what it was like when he was just realizing that he was gay. It took him a long time and a few hundred hook ups to at least somewhat accept it. He knew that he never felt some tremendous burst of feelings when he was with someone but why did he have to ever label anything? 

 

*Author’s voice*

Okay now it’s probably the best time now to give the story/journey of Dean figuring out that he was gay. After the story is over I will have one more author’s voice clearing up anything Dean didn’t describe well enough in his flashback. Be aware that there is some.. vulgar language To start out with the scenario of the situation, Dean is about 15 or 16 in high school. He had just had sex with someone and they left. This was his third one this week and it was Monday. To say the least, Dean had some issues and he took them out through sex. He was more or less, for lack of better words, a “player.” Sammy was at his friends house, Mom was still at work and Dad was passed out on the couch. 

 

 

~~Dean’s Flashback~~

Dean felt more or less better than before Sasha got there. The sex wasn’t that great but it was better than nothing and got his mind off of the way Lucifer’s ass looked in the football pants. Luci was the school jock. Top of the line asshole who, believe it or not, was gay. Obviously since Dean was the supposed “bad boy” of the school he didn’t really have the ability to “look” as guys like he wanted to. All the girls wanted him, even a few guys, but if anyone knew about them his reputation would be fucked. He needed that rep to protect Sammy, so he’d hide everything. He knew he didn’t want to be gay though. That was the first thing he decided to never indulge in. He could deal with meaningless sex if that meant he could always put Sammy first and never give him anything to be ashamed of. Dad caught him ogling at the football team once.  They were all idiots yes but they had nice asses. His dad smacked him in the back of the head and pointed to the cheerleaders. That was his one and only clue that he needed to never go there again. No Winchester could ever be gay. Ever. 

Of course, when Dad found him whacking off the one of those men’s magazines he knew that he couldn’t go back. Dad slammed the door, pulled up his pants, and grabbed him by the neck and started choking him. He put his face to Dean’s ear and said words that Dean would never forget. “No some of mine will be a pansy ass. Get your shit together you faggot. I better not see that shit again.”

 

From that point on, Dean was the manwhore who slept through the school, his dad didn’t know guys were sometimes included in the fun. *Dean chuckled to himself*

 

Dean could remember the first time he thought about a guy. Really thought about a guy, like men shouldn’t look at other guys. He was 11 or so and in middle school.  He was walking through the hallway with his “girlfriend” Jo. They didn’t do much at the point. Jo would kiss him on the cheek sometimes and he would walk her to class and hold her hand. They were the typical child couple. There was this little geek he saw walking down the hallway. The football team was walking by him and one of them knocked his books out of his hands. Dean let go of Jo and ran over to him. “Hey! Leave him alone!” he shouted but they were already walking away. He’s pretty sure that he could hear one of them say something like “yeah okay fag get your boyfriend.” Assholes. Before that Dean didn’t even know what being “gay” was. Yeah his dad hunted and shit but they never really told him about anything sexual until… well until a year or so later that the current moment. “Hey man, you okay?”

 

The little guy got up and said:

 

“Uhh Yeah. Thanks I guess.” He was hurrying to get his books and Dean leaned down to help him. He looked up and Dean saw the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen in his life. They were this ocean blue, but not like a murky ocean, like the kind of ocean you see on pamphlets. He stood up and cleared his throat and said “Hi, I’m Dean. This is my girlfriend Jo.” The boy stood up and said

 

“I’m Castiel. I’m going to be late.” and he left. 

 

Dean couldn’t shake Castiel’s eyes. They were so blue! He watched Castiel walk away and out of his life for another 15 years. He ended up taking Jo outside and making out with her the first time. It was probably shitty kissing because he’d never kissed anyone before but he needed something to forget about those eyes.   


 

 

*Author’s Voice*

 

Yes, Dean met Castiel in middle school. He didn’t know who it was and like he said didn’t see him again until Gabriel introduced them. He knew that he recognized those eyes. Those are once in a lifetime eyes that pierce your brain. But just to make sure he talked to the soundboard guy and got some information. He talked to Gabe about some of his background and the first time they went to lunch and he said that he went to the same middle school as  him, he knew who it was. But he didn’t really know who it was because he didn’t know Cas. He acted like it was some goat coincidence. Castiel left that school before him anyone, it could have been. Now we’re taking a jump to Castiel’s perspective of July 6th. 

 

 

~~Cas, July 6th~~

Dammit Dean. Why now? Cas sighed of frustration. After that night Dean knew that Cas didn’t have another ride so he came back, picked him up, brought him breakfast and took him back to his apartment. That was thoughtful of him. Why was he being thoughtful?  Dammit Dean. This was why he wished that Dean would have waited just a few more months so he could come to terms with everything. He had just gotten out of a very serious relationship and needed time to recover from that and deal with the fact that he’d probably at least bisexual? Cas didn’t even know how to put what he was. Shit. He had already gone through high school and figuring out his sexual orientation when his hormones were raging. He didn’t want to have to do it again. But he knew he needed to, if not for him then for Dean. Castiel went on the internet and decided to do some research. “What is it called when you like guys and girls but not one more than the other?” Nothing specific really came up. So he shortened it. “What am I if I like guys and girls?” A lot of stuff came up then, and after looking through all of them and getting a lot of different definitions of each of them he decided on one. He was pansexual. He could love anyone, not based on gender but for their personality. He wanted to call Dean and tell him what he decided but.. no. He couldn’t. Dean probably wouldn’t pick up and he couldn’t take that right now.  Not right now he told himself. When the time is right. 

  
Well the time came slower than he thought. He still went over to Dean’s to help with songwriting but never stayed the night, left to eat on his own, and stayed on the opposite side of the room. It killed him to not just go over and hug Dean but he knew he couldn’t.  Not now. 

 

~~~~~

 

Cas had just left from Dean’s. They finished the last song for the album and it was really late. Before he would have crawled into one side of Dean’s bed and knocked out before Dean could even think about climbing in beside him. On those nights he didn’t know if Dean climbed in beside him or just slept on the couch because the covers would be the same and Dean would be up before him making breakfast. They had two more days in the studio and the album would be finished. One day for recording the last song and one day dedicated to editing and finishing each of the songs. 

 

~~Dean~~

Today was the last day of editing and he wouldn’t have to have Cas at his apartment for song writing anymore. Dean didn’t even know if it was a good or bad thing. He knew, regardless of how close they were to each other, Dean loved having Cas at his apartment but since the campfire, Cas seemed to be ignoring him more than ever. He wouldn’t even sleep over anymore. Dean would offer him his bed, even when it was 3 am, but Cas insisted on going home. Dean was so pissed at himself. He was surprised it didn’t come out (blatantly at least) in any of his songs. He didn’t even know how to handle it anymore. At least when Cas was at his house he could see his bedhead and whack off in the shower with that face freshly plastered in his mind. Now, all he got was cold looks and emotionless smiles. 

He knew he fucked up. 

 

 


	12. Someone.. new?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt is Matt Cohen... The actor who plays young john and Michael (for a short time). He is in this story as himself not one of the actual SPN characters he plays. I know it's short (again) but I've got a lot of family issues going on along with a bunch of school and work. I'll try to make next weeks longer than this.

~~It’s about a month after the album was released and a 3 months after the campfire. October, Dean~~

 

_Why Dean? Dammit._ Is all Dean’s been thinking for the past few months. He lost his best friend and now he has to find a new guitarist because _somebody_ (Gabe) said he couldn’t be the singer and lead guitarist. _Fucking Gabe._ Dean was so mad because all he’d had for the past month were dipshits trying to make a break with an uprising band. Half of them couldn’t even play. This time at tryouts Gabe was here with him. They had been through about 15 today and Dean was fed up. They had one more for the day. Dean was wondering why the last guy was late when a guy (who Dean assumed was the person they had been waiting for) walked in. This guy was major hot. He was almost as hot as Dean (but of course he’d never admit that). He was a little taller than Dean. He had nice firm hands. Dean only knew this because the guy came up to him and shook his hand. His eyes were really blue -but not as blue as Cas’- and he was more muscular than Dean could have wished for.

“Uhm. Where are the tryouts for Angels & Demons guitarist po... ” He couldn’t finish his sentence because he realized. “Oh my gosh! Dean fucking Winchester sitting right in the chair in front of me!” He tried to compose himself and regain the manly persona he’d walked in with. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m here for the position of the guitarist.” Great. He was fucking beautiful and a fanboy. Just what Dean needed. A hot new band member obsessed with him that he’d eventually  fuck things up with.

“Yeah. I’m Dean, the lead singer of the band and this -he points to Gabe- is our manager Gabriel Novak. Sit down and play us somethin’ will ya?” He nodded his head and pulled out a limited edition guitar that was signed by the entire Queen band. Freddie and all. “Hold the fuck up. Is that Brian May’s first guitar? And is that their signatures? Even Freddie’s?”

“Uh yeah my Dad was a major Queen fan and when he went to one of the concerts he bought the guitar off Brian and scored some signatures. He gave it to me for my 18th birthday It’s kind of my -Dean was already across the room groping at the guitar- uh? Dean?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah. Shit sorry. I just thought it had been framed in his house or something after Freddie died.”

“Nope. It’s my lucky guitar. I bring it to any audition I go to.”

“Yeah take care of that beautiful baby. Hey -uh what’s your name again?”

“Well I never gave it to you, but I’m Matt. Matt Cohen.”

“Well then Matt Cohen. Play us something.”

I guess that meant for him to play something in remembrance of Freddie because he played a melody of all of Queen’s most memorable songs choruses. Great. He was beautiful, he could play, and he knew all of Queen. Dean was doomed.

 

~~1 week later~~

“Guys. Hey! Guys shut up for a minute. I have to introduce someone. This is-”

“Dean. You’re boyfriend is Hot!” Jo actually nodded her head in agreeance. Meg and Jo never agree on anything.

“Heh… He’s not my boyfriend.” Dean could feel the back of his neck get really hot with embarrassment. “This is our new guitarist, Matt. Matt this is Meg and Jo, Crowley, and you already know Gabe.”

“Same damn thing. We all know you like guitarists, especially once like this hot piece of ass.”  Dean looked at Matt apologetically. He only blushed and nodded his head as if he was saying “it’s okay.” Then he spoke.

“Hey. Yeah, I’m Matt. Full disclosure. I am gay. I find Dean ridiculously hot but no I’m not with anyone....” He turned and looked at Dean “yet.” Dean had never been so red in his life. He was blushing like a little tweener who was at a Justin Bieber concert and he said she was beautiful. He cleared his throat and then said “Well. Uhm. Anyways. I thought he could play for y’all what he played for Gabe and I.” Matt pulled out his signed guitar and awed the band and payd beautifully. They were all excited to have him in the band. They were about to do a world tour and were in need of a guitarist. That means Dean would have to go through the whole process of teaching him the songs and backups. Weeks of training him for the tour and they started touring in a month. America first then Europe, a show in Australia, then to Asia and back to Texas for their last show. That’ll be 10 months of touring.

“So you guys like him?” They all nodded their heads “Good, then I have to start training him now. Bye.” And he left.

In the car Dean was still blushing. Matt was so forward. He needed someone to take his mind off Cas before he went crazy so he decided to do something he hadn’t done in a really long -well a month- time. “Matt?” He decided he was going to be as forward as Matt was.

“Yes?” He looked at Dean with the doe eyes.

“Okay so to break you in I’ve decided I’m going to take you to a bar. We’re going to get hammered then go back to my place. I’m not planning on doing anything but going to sleep. We’ll see if that changes after a few drinks.”

“Okay” and just like that Dean’s day seemed to work out well. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of rough, I know. I've had so much going on in life this past month, I couldn't tell you how I survived. I hope you guys like the turns the story is taking. I'm planning on ending it at about chp 30. Thanks for reading!

~~Dean~~  
Dean and Matt arrive at Dean’s favorite bar about 15 minutes from the studio. He’s gone there about every other night since July so a lot of the other regulars he’s made acquaintances with. The first person he sees is Benny. Benny is this guy who looks like an old sailor from the 30’s or 50’s? Dean could never get the decades matched with what they are remembered for but nevertheless, he looks like a sailor from a black and white -or sepia- picture you’d see in an old photo album in your mother/grandmother’s. Dean was probably drunk when he thought of that but it’s stuck with him and made Benny seem a little less intimidating than he probably is. Dean, surprisingly enough, have come to almost trust Benny. There were some late nights drinking that he and Benny had just sat at the bar and talked about everything. Dean doesn’t usually open up, at least not since July, but since he met Benny he seems to let everything slip out. Get a little liquor in Dean and he just spills out everything.   
“Hey Benny!”  
“Hello Brother, how are you doin’ this fine evnin?”  
“Pretty great actually, I’d like you to meet Matt. He’s A&D’s new guitarist. I thought I’d bring him here, get him drunk, and make him spill out all of his secrets.” Dean laughs and they all start laughing, but Dean’s pretty sure that’s exactly what he came here to do, other than get completely drunk and make out.   
“Well brother, I can help you with one of those.” Benny turns toward the bar and shouts “Three rounds on me for these two gentlemen here!” And he gets the nod.   
“Thanks Benny, you sure know how to cheer a guy up.” They started to walk away. Shit. He didn’t mean to slip that out, hopefully Matt woul-  
“Cheer you up? Are you okay Dean?”  
“Uh yeah, it was just a joke.” Dean kind of stuttered out.  
“A joke? Well okay I’ll go along with that, but when you want to tell me what’s really going on you can. Dude I’m not here to get in your pants and leave or anything. I want to make a friendship or whatever. You can trust me, want to know why?”  
“Uh yeah sure.”  
“Because I pissed the bed until I was 12.”  
“What the fuck dude are you serious? Why’d you tell me that?”  
“Because now you know something about me that haunts me and could ruin my entire reputation. You now hold a deep dark secret of mine. I’m not asking for a secret in return, but I’m trusting you with this, showing you that trust exists.” Well. Dean just wanted to get drunk and maybe get into his pants a little. He wasn’t expecting some deep man-to-man talk about feelings.   
“Okay, thanks dude. But all that aside, 12? Until you were 12?”  
“Shut up! I had a weak bladder okay!” and they both started laughing, maybe tonight would be more fun than it started. 

~~Cas~~  
It had been a few months since Castiel had seen Dean and he missed him. He missed him so much that it hurt. He didn’t care if more-than-friendship feelings were there for either one of them. Castiel loved to hear his voice, and listen to him talk, and watch him as he went through the same thought process every time they started working on a song. When Dean got an idea he would make some calming Zen tea, sit on that ugly zebra bean bag chair, get his notebook out and write one word that stuck out the most of the things he was thinking. He would drawn a bubble cloud around it and just write everything about the word. He would have an entire page of words that he would try to rhyme with it. He would hum melodies and switch between having his acoustic and an empty music sheet to one of the journals his mother gave him that he writes lyrics in. He always used them because he felt that when he did, she was with him, helping him. Every time he would think of a short melody or a stanza or two of lyrics, he would run them by Castiel to see what he thought of them. Of course Castiel loved everything about them. It was DeanfuckingWinchester. He always chewed on the edge of the pencil he used, and he would bite his fingernail because he always seemed nervous about it. He would constantly run his fingers through his hair and when he thought of something good that they both liked, he would get up and walk around the whole apartment shouting the lyrics making sure they would sound okay with crowd, and when he was satisfied with that he would walk around dancing and humming a melody. He’s always have Catiels harmonize with him and they’d keep going until they had a basic tune for the song. And once they had that, he would have Castiel write lyrics for the rest of the song while he did the same thing, and they would compare once they both were satisfied with what they’d come up with on their own. When they compared them they would sing each lyric with the other person humming the melody and then they'd mash the lyrics together until they liked the end result. Once they had an idea about how the song was going to sound, they’d get out their acoustics and play it until they had everything fine tuned. After that they’d bring it to the band and show them. Once the band said they loved it or told them what they think should be changed, depending on which is was they’d go edit it and, they’d go into the studio with the studio instruments and just play it until they liked it and that was the beginning of the song. He loved it when those processes took weeks. Sometimes they’d be on a song for a month, doing all of that non-stop until they got it right. Those are the days that Castiel misses. He misses having fun and doing what he loves with someone he calls called a best friend.   
Castiel decided he wants to talk to Dean today, maybe try and arrange a meet up or something. So he calls him, but it goes automatically to voice mail. He knew he’d been hanging out at that bar that Benny hangs out at, Benny had been telling Castiel about some of their later nights.   
Castiel - obliviously- makes a stupid decision.   
Castiel decides going to go to the bar, just to talk to him. He’d already texted Benny to see if he was there, and as Castiel suspected, he was. 

~~Dean~~  
“So Castiel was your boyfriend?”  
“No but to be completely honest, the way we were hanging out, it seemed like it was getting to that. He was already staying at my apartment pretty much every night. I honestly don’t even think he knows that he’s gay or likes men or whatever people call both ways nowadays.”  
“Really? How did he not know yet? The way you described what he did, I would think it was pretty obvious.” This conversation had taken a little turn toward man-to-man-deep-talk-about-ex-relationships instead of the hot make out sessions Dean had planned on. Oh well, at least he had someone who didn’t know Cas personally he could talk to about it. They probably downed 7 beers each, deep into conversation for over an hour at least. Dean was being a teenager and gossiping about his crush who’d broken his whittle heart. He already knew that Benny knew Cas. Benny left his phone on the table one day they were pretty hammered and he’d gotten a text from “Castiel Novak” and Dean doesn’t know anyone else in the entire world whose name is Castiel. He didn’t care much, maybe if he spilled out his feelings again and Benny told Cas he’d come back to him.   
But then Dean heard Benny’s voice again “Well speak of the damn Devil, hello brother. Long time now see.”  
“If anything it’d be “speak of the angel” because Castiel is an angels name, but nevertheless it’s good to see you as well. Have you seen Dean?” Dean slouched down in the seat at the voicing of his name from Cas’ lips. He hadn’t heard that rough voice for months.   
“Uhm Dean? Someone’s walking over here, do you want me to make them go away?”  
“Um no that’sCastieltheoneIwastalkingabout.” Dean’s words ran together because he was trying to talk under his breath but he was failing miserably.  
“Hu?”  
“That’s Cas..”  
“That’s Cas?” Matt got up and started walking towards Cas. He could barely hear Dean’s pleading him to stop with a series of “nononononono.” “Hey buddy, Dean over there doesn’t want to talk to you. I know you’ve got to sort your shit out but if you’re just gonna hurt him again, then I’m going to have to stop you right there.” 

~~Cas~~  
“He doesn’t want to talk to me?” Castiel tried not to sound as heartbroken as he was.  
“No! He doesn’t! You broke his heart you asshole! Why would he want to talk to someone who took no regard for his feelings and just left him?” Castiel had thought about all of that over the past few months but he hadn’t really thought that Dean wouldn’t want to talk to him. Maybe he was being inconsiderate. He had broken Dean’s heart, but he thought Dean would be able t understand once he explained everything to him.   
“But.. I thought.”  
“You thought wrong dammit! Either go to him, apologize and beg for his forgiveness or walk your blue eyed ass out of here because he doesn’t want to be hurt again.” Castiel stood there for a minute, startled by this strangers boldness. He was glaring at Castiel, he assumed he was analyzing Castiel to figure out which choice he was to make. The thing was though, Castiel had already made his choice.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super Super Super short chapter this week.. I've run into some plot clashes and have to rework the story. I'm leaving you with a cliff hanger because I want all of it to make more sense next week! Hope you enjoy!

~~Cas~~

Cas stood there for a minute, startled by this strangers boldness. He was glaring at Castiel, he assumed he was analyzing Castiel to figure out which choice he was to make. The thing was though, Castiel had already made his choice. Castiel had actually made his choice when he met Dean, he just wasn’t comfortable with it yet. He knew he liked Dean but he didn’t want to like him, so when he was confronted with the situation, he caved and denied everything. These last few months, for Castiel, were spent banging his head on walls asking himself why he did that to someone he liked let alone cared about. So he’d decided. He turned around and started to walk away.

 

~~Dean~~

 

Why was Cas walking away? What had Matt said to him? _Dammit Matt!_ Matt just stood there. He didn’t move from his place, not even to look at Dean and try to apologize.

 

~~Matt~~

What the fuck had he gotten himself into? He just confronted the person he was crushing on’s ex-not-boyfriend who he was still totally in love with. He just acted on his gut and went to give the guy an ultimatum. Dean or nothing. And the guy just walked away. Wow he was some asshole, but now he’d have to face Dean. His heart felt so heavy, not just for Dean because he’d been rejected again, but because it was his fault. Wait. What was he doing? The guy didn’t leave. Matt started to turn when he saw the guy on his way back over.

 

~~Dean~~

 

What? Why did he go to the bar? Cas doesn’t drink hard liquor and he’s a wuss when he comes to beer. Why is he turning around? He’s walking back here. Wait… Is he-?

 

~~Cas~~

 

Castiel had decided to go get Dean’s favorite drink and sit and apologize for everything. He wanted to talk to him so bad over the past few months, and now he had the chance. He was going to make sure Dean understood and at least enjoyed the drink. He just guessed what that stranger guy wanted. He had his “panties in a twist” --like Dean used to say when Castiel got worked up in a song or something, though Castiel didn’t know men wore panties, nevertheless he’d assumed he had man-panties and that they were twisted-- and Castiel didn’t want to upset him further. The look of pure disbelief that Dean gave Castiel as he gave him his drink and sat down at the opposite side of the table. He thought it was cute that Dean thought Castiel would give up a chance to explain himself.

~~Matt~~

  
That jackass got him a drink. Who does this guy think he is? Coming in here all gung-ho and determined, then just turning away to make it seem like he was choosing to leave. He could definitely see why Dean was so hung up on his mixed signals. He was getting all kinds of signals with this guy. When he saw this “Cas” guy had Dean his drink and sit down, Matt decided to follow him and claim his seat again.


	15. Castiel (15.)

~~Cas~~

But.. Just as fast as Castiel got up, Dean ran out of the bar. How? Why would he run out? Castiel thought. Did he do something? He started to run after him but that God forsaken stranger came up to him again.

“I guess you were too late. You should have made your decision sooner. Some people can’t wait forever. I guess Dean wasn't willing to wait anymore.”

God! How could Castiel have been so stupid? why would he ever think that Dean would wait for him to realize how stupid he’d been? Dean never had to wait on anyone. He’d clearly moved on with that rude stranger. They seemed to be close, almost close like he and Dean had been. Dammit you Cas. He go up and started running towards his car. He was so upset with himself that he didn’t remember how he got hom or even how he got to his bed. Wait. How did he get to his bed? He started to open his eyes but couldn’t because they were swollen shut. He started fidgeting and then stilled when he hear someone walking up to him.

“Shush and keep your eyes closed little brother. I’ve got some ice to ease the swelling.” Had Castiel gotten punched in the face? Who had he gotten into a fight with? His fists didn’t ache from punching anything that he could feel now. His body didn’t ache from any time of punches or something to make him think he had been into a fight.

“Gabriel, why can’t I open my eyes?”

“Because Dean dropped you off at my apartment. You had gotten into a fight or something. You chose a good one, he isn't very talkative. Though I guess he could have just left you there so he's better than the worst. ” Oh Dean. That’s why. Then it hit him. Everything that had happened the previous night. He’d decided to go to Dean and apologize but Dean ran off and left him at the bar. All the emotions from last night hit him too, the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and hurt made his eyes start watering. Gabriel slapped him in the face.

“Wh-? Why d-did you s-slap m-me in the f-face?”

“Because you are acting like a wuss. You are the one who hurt him, not the other way around. Now I’m not trying to defend him because let’s be honest, he’s not my favorite person in the world on account of how much pain he’s causing you, but after that night that you did what you did, he came to me upset. He wasn't really specific because he was trying to leave as fast as possible but he looked like he was on the verge of crying very manly tears of course. I could see is on his face. What you did, whatever it was, Castiel, had to be pretty heartless to make Dean that upset and uncomfortable. It hurts to be shut down in your most vulnerable state. And since he's obviously still in love with you and you him, it had to do with you hurting him. You know, you can be so oblivious at times. So now, after months of not realizing it, you finally do. When he didn’t take you back with open arms, it hurts doesn’t it?” All Castiel could do was nod. “Exactly so unless you want to sulk all night and probably for the next 2 years, I suggest you think of something to do about it.” And just like that, Gabriel was up and almost out of the door. He was right, Castiel needed to do something about it. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's not a chapter, PLEASSSEEE read it though!

Hey everyone, sorry this isn't a chapter. I just kind of wanted to update you on what's been going on. My grandmother died this summer, not that it;s an excuse not to write but it hit my family and I pretty hard as well as some other stuff that has been going on. School is about to start and ironically that'll mean I have more time to write. I've been pretty busy with work but once school starts I'll have some time to focus on actually writing. I'm working on chapter 15.2 which is Dean's perspective on the whole bar situation and it'll probably give you more insight on wy Castiel woke up with a nice shiner and Gabe with ice on his face. I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOO sorry that I've been out of writing for sooooo long. I've started writing a book and I have A LOT of research to do which has also taken up some of my time. Again I'm trying to get back into writing. 15.2 will probably be posted next Friday/Saturday. THank you for everyone who has read my story so far and hopefully we'll see the end soon! Stay tuned! I promise I'll work harder


	17. Dean (15.2)

~~Dean~~

Dean saw Cas turn around with a drink in his hand and as much as he loved that Cas wasn’t avoiding him, he panicked. Was he really ready to listen to what Cas had to say? After being so harsh, and avoiding him this long time? _No._ Dean needed some air so he got up and basically fast walked like hell out to baby. He started breathing heavily, half expecting Castiel to follow him but as he waiting for however long --he didn’t know because watched were for douchebags and he didn’t think to check his phone until after he sat in the car-- and Cas didn’t show he called Matt. When he didn’t answer Dean decided to go back in. He hoped his swift exit forced Cas to leave. He has been back in the bar for about five minutes and decided to go around back to see if Matt was there. He found Matt alright, but he’d also found Cas in the embrace of Matt. Matt had his hand around Cas’ shoulder and was punching him in the gut. He was yelling something that Dean couldn’t make out. All Dean thought to do was to help Cas.

 

~~Matt~~

This dickhole was seriously trying to argue with him. “No he obviously doesn’t want to talk to you right now. Don’t you dare go after him. Let him process all this shit that’s happening right now and leave him alone.”

“But-”

“No ‘but’ he left. You tried to talk to him and he left. Would you want someone to talk to you after you try to avoid them?”

“No but I-”

“No, you wouldn’t so leave him alone.”

“Listen”

“No you listen-”

“ _SHUT UP!_ Let me talk.” Cas had surprised himself yelling at this person who seemed to be defending Dean. “I fucked up. I get it but you need to let me explain to you why I need to go after him. I understand that I hurt him. That’s why I got him his favorite drink. To show him that I care and remembered the things he liked. I was going to sit him down and tell him how sorry I was. That I never really meant what I said. I was scared and so I did what I could to avoid.. everything.” He sighed. “It was never meant in a hurtful way, Really. It was just to try and protect myself. I was just being selfish and I understand it now. I didn’t at the time and that’s why I’ve avoided him for so long. I didn’t want to fess up to my selfishness. My mother raised me better than this. I have felt so guilty and all I’ve ever wanted to do was apologize and tell him that I never meant it, but I always felt like I couldn’t. But then Gabriel called me and told me that he would be at the bar close to my apartment, I thought it was the right time.”

“Are you serious? You were just being selfish. That is the stupidest excuse I have ever heard in my life, and you think that Dean would have listened to this shit? Are you mental?” At that point there was a punch thrown. Honestly Matt wasn’t sure who threw it but after that multiple punches were thrown and they ended up in the alley behind the bar. Matt finally gets a few good punched in and he feels a punch, harder than the ones he’d received previously. He looked up only to realize it was Dean. Why was Dean punching him? He stopped, it not just to save his face. Dean was strong as hell and was slowly punching his way up.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Stop Dean. _Stop!”_ He threw his hands up in surrender. Dean seemed to come back into focus. Honestly he seemed to be a little bit confused.

“What the fuck Matt. Why are you punching Cas?!”

“I -I-” He just stopped. There was no way he could explain to Dean that he was trying to defend him by punching the guy he was still obviously in love with. Regardless of the fact that his actions were completely logical, Dean still loved this “Cas” person for whatever reason and he’d known better than anyone that love is blinding. “Look I’m sorry. We were getting into an argument and things got out of hand.”

“Obviously!” Matt hesitated with frustration because he was never the one to apologize about anything.

“Look I’ve already apologized. I think I should go.” And just like that he left. He was pissed as hell, his fist hurt like a bitch and was starting to swell, and for some reason he was limping. This was definitely a story he could tell his kids someday but right now he needed to get home to ice his … well everything.  

 

~~Cas~~

Castiel had never been in a fight in his life. He hated watching people get punched but he couldn’t help but realize that he had been the one to initiate the fight. He punched the guy, who he learned after was someone called “Matt,” and started the fight. There was punching and wrestling and moving and then a rush of cold air. They were outside now. He got a few punches in then succumbed to Matt’s fist. He couldn’t lift his arm anymore and his fist was killing him. Then all of the sudden he could have sworn he heard Dean’s voice. He was shoved and then he blacked out for a while.

 

~~Dean~~

Dammit Cas. What the fuck do I do with you now? Wake up!” He slapped Cas’ face. HE didn’t budge. Dean decided to do what he did with Sam when he would find him drunk (well what Sam told Dean that he did for Dean when he would get drunk and pass out). Dean hoisted Cas up over his shoulders and carried him to the car. He drove him to Gabe’s and brought him to the door. He knocked a few times and when Gabe didn’t answer he shouted.

“Gabe! Open the damn door. I’ve got your brother.” He heard a few kluncks and some other noises and then the door opened.

“Any why do you have him?”

“Because he got into a fight with my friend and passed out. I couldn’t just leave him there so I brought him to you.”

“Well why don’t you just bring him to your house?”

“Because no. We have had so much shit going on within the last few months and I’m not ready to explain this _and_ listen to whatever he has to say tomorrow. So here-” He shoved Cas in Gabe’s arms. “-I’ve got to go. Bye” And then he left. 


	18. Chapter 18

So this leads us to what we ended chapter 15.1 on. Cas’ reaction to waking up with a nice shiner and his brother bantering over him. To kind of “set the scene” Castiel has now woken up panicked as ever at his apartment barely able to open his eyes. His big brother Gabriel is actually being nice and trying to help with the swelling and pain, at first of course. Once Gabriel is good and sure that Castiel is fully awake, he can assess the issue at hand. Castiel had caused some seriously annoying shit. Gabriel ended up slapping him in the face, figuratively and physically, then leaving once his point was made, leaving Castiel to sulk in his mistake. 

 

~~Castiel~~

 

Castiel got up from his bed and tried to see through his slightly less closed eyes to pick out some clothes. His face hurt so bad but Gabriel was right, he couldn’t just leave it like it was. He had to do something big. Something meaningful. Castiel decided on a quick shower and then to talk to Sam. He was one of the few people Castiel still talked to from the band. Most of them disowned Castiel due to his mishap with Dean but Sam had decided that yes he was angry, and of course it wasn’t okay what he did, but it was to Dean not to him. He couldn’t let go of someone who was a good friend to him just because of a stupid mistake.

 

Castiel was in the car and driving when he thought it best that he call Sam and warn him of his upcoming presence.

“Hello? Cas?”

“Hello Sam, I am on my way over.”

“You’re what?!”

“I am in my car, on the way to your apartment.”

“Oh.. uh- okay?”

“Okay see you in a few minutes.”

That conversation went fine. He thought he should tell Sam why he was there when he got there. It wasn’t something he’d want to discuss over the phone. He arrived to Sam’ about five minutes after the call. He knocked and upon opening the door, Sam just smiled and let him in.

“Hey what’s up Cas?”

“I fucked up with Dean.”

“Uh yeah we’ve been over this. I’m still your friends and-”

“I fucked up with Dean and I _need_ to fix it. We need to come up with a plan.”

“Cas, you okay dude?”

“No I am most certainly not okay Sam. I miss your brother. I miss talking to him, flirting with him, listening to him sing and talk and breathe calmly if I wake up before him. I miss his somewhat rude commenting on every single thing I do. I miss him. And I need him to see that I do. That I- I never meant to hurt him.”

“Okay _okay_. Well Dean loves baby, music, beer, alcohol, baby again, his family-”

“That’s it! You guys have a show coming up right? Like a _big_ show?”

“Uhm yes! We are preforming at Time Square on New Years! That’s like the biggest gig you can get.”

“Yeah okay. Something big.” Castiel started pacing around the room, trying desperately to come up with a plan to try to win Dean back. “Do guys need a guitarist?”

“Honestly I have no idea. Matt was supposed to be the guitarist but Dean told me what happened last night and now I don’t know if he’s still in.”

“Do you think the guys would let me back in, given I be respectful of their boundaries and stay as from from Dean as he needs?”

“Well I’d have to talk to them about that. You kind of fucked up bad.”

“Ahh! But it is part of my plan. I need to perform with you guys. I need that exact setting to do something big!”

“Well can I tell the guys your plan?”

“No! You can’t tell them _or_ Dean! They’ll eventually tell him and it would ruin the surprise!”

“I’d have to tell the guys to get them to convince Dean to let you back in!”

“Fine. If you must.” He said with a slight pout, though of course he’d never admit that he pouted about anything. He was a grown man and grown men don’t pout.

“Okay I gotta call them and talk to them about it.” And after a ridiculously long call that involved much shouting from I assume Meg and Jo, he was in. Phase one complete. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've almost made a full circle. Which means we're getting to the end of our journey with Cas and Dean. I hope, as I finish this one, you enjoy my story. I'd like to continue but I'd need some suggestions. Probably just oneshots for now. But feel free to let me know.


End file.
